I went to the grocery store yesterday and tried to steal seven packs of gum. My record was only four, but I was feeling confident.
The grocery store is perhaps the best place to steal from, since no one pays any attention when you’re picking things up and looking at them. And with the self-check-outs now, its like they’re just asking for it. Its really too easy.
Anyway, yesterday I walked into the store and immediately snagged two packs of gum from the checkout lines. I put them in my cart and walked toward the produce isle inconspicuously. I grabbed an apple from the organic section and switched it with one of the cheaper ones. I tried to imagine the look on the customer’s face when they paid organic apple prices for just a normal apple. It was too funny. I put some spinach and bananas in my cart and kept making my way through the store.
By the time I was waiting for a self-check-out machine I had managed to leave a gallon of milk in the freezer section, poke holes in several yogurt cups, and stashed eight packs of gum in my pockets, one more than I had even planned. It would have been my most successful shopping trip yet.
And now you want me to pay for it all? I see your point with all the food that I ruined, but don’t you find it funny too?
Can’t I at least keep the gum?